18

When I was seventeen
I looked forward
To being eighteen

All I wanted
Was to be able
To walk into a pub
Order a drink
And not be asked
Have you got some idea?

But when you're seventeen
And ordering Guinness
What publican in the world
Would suspect a young man
Drinking black blood
Being of illegitimate age

When I was seventeen
I looked forward
To being eighteen

So many mature ladies
I wanted to fuck
If only I was older
I'm sure they would want
To screw me over
Muck like an egg
Not over easy

I know at seventeen
It would be statutory rape
And I'd hate to be responsible
For ruining a life

If only the heads of state
Had changed the law
As they have done today

Sixteen and Seventeen year old's
Getting pregnant everyday

Thanks, but no thanks
I'll wait for my eighteenth
Maybe I'll have more sense
Between the sheets

When I was seventeen
I looked forward
To being eighteen

At eighteen
Everything was exactly the same
Same friends
Same routine

Publicans still asked for i.d
Except one old man
Who kept the Guinness coming

The older ladies
Were either married
Or had flown the coop
Nothing but younglings scantily clad
Now a member
Of the thou shalt not touch crew

Pockets which once were full
Empty after a mad weekend
And I realise now what I did
I wished away
A great seventeenth